James Schembari is an editor at The Times.His column on the prime earning, spending and striving years appears the fourth Sunday of each month.

A few months before my father died in January, at 77, he told my mother the words she had long vowed never to heed. "After I’m gone, get rid of this house," he told her about their home in Connecticut. "Keeping it up will bankrupt you."

My father was very handy, not only fixing the things that always go wrong with a house, but also making similar repairs at my house any my sister’s house. I remember him fixing the sink when he visited me in my Chicago condominium years ago. (I’m useless in a tool belt.) After I bragged about his skills to my neighbors, they called one by one to see if he could come down and look into their minor breakdowns, too.

Now that he’s gone, my brother-in-law has stepped into my father’s shoes, helping my mother beyond measure. But he has his own house to care for, and even my mother knows that she can’t rely on him forever. For a woman who in better times always defiantly told her children, "You’ll have to carry me out of this house in a box." There is a realization that those words might be stronger than her finances and, eventually, her health.

"So, " a friend said shortly after my father died, "does she have long-term care insurance?" -- the coverage that pays for nursing home care.

No, she does not and, as I approach 50, neither do I. Is it too late for her and too early for me? I turned to Les Abromovitz, author of "Long-Term Care Insurance Made Simple" (Practice Management Information, 1999) and a retired lawyer who once handled consumer protection issues for the Pennsylvania Insurance Department. He said the polices could actually keep people like my mother in their homes because most would also pay for in-home care and some would even cover home alterations like a wheelchair ramp. For her, even buying it now, such a policy would help ease her fears.

"I’m a believer in long-term care insurance, especially if you have significant assets that you want to protect," he said. "And you get better care if you have it. I think our parents deserve to get the best care available, and if Medicaid is paying the bill, their choices will be limited."

He says that baby boomers, the oldest of whom are now 55, need to start thinking about the insurance, but that 50 may be to soon to buy. He recommends waiting until closer to 60. "I just believe baby boomers spend money on a lot of frivolous thing, but when it comes to long-term care insurance they say they can’t afford it," he said.

Lynn Boyd, senior director for long-term care at the American Council of Life Insurance in Washington, said the group was finding that people were buying the policies as part of their investment plans.

"There has been a shift in how consumers are using this," she said. "It’s now more a retirement planning toll. Women are looking to it to protect their independence, men to protect their financial security. People are not just buying it at retirement; they are buying it at a younger age."

Survey results released by the council this year showed that 39 percent of buyers in 1999 were under 65, up from 29 percent in 1996. And Ms. Boyd said the trend was continuing. Because these policies have so many variables, decisions can be difficult, so I asked Mr. Abromovitz for some suggestions.

He said he would buy a policy that, along with nursing home care, offered payments for assisted living, home health care and homemaker services – when someone comes into the home to help with daily activities like dressing and cooking.

He said he would buy a policy that offered a benefit of at least a $200 a day for three years, because the average nursing home stay is two and a half years. He also suggested buying from a company that has been in the long-term care insurance business for at least five years and is in good standing with the buyer’s state insurance department

To keep prices down, companies offer a sort of deductible, called the elimination period. That is the number of days you pay for care before the policy kicks in. Mr. Abromovitz recommends 90 days.

Finally, he said to watch out for policy triggers – what puts the benefits into effect. In most policies, one trigger is the inability to perform at least two of six activities of daily living, like bathing and dressing; in some policies, however, the minimum is three. Many policies allow you doctor to determine your abilities, but some require that the insurer’s doctor decide.

The American Council of Life Insurers said the average annual premium on a policy that pays benefits for three years was $693 for a 50-year-old, $2,756 for a 70-year-old and $5,133 for someone 75 and older.

"People manage to find a lot of money for goods and services they don’t need, but they may be putting their money to a better use with a long-term policy," he said. Now the trick is bringing this all up to my mother. Maybe I’ll just leave this column on her coffee table.